Election Day!

Wahey! So i'm sitting here watching Channel 4 alternitive election night :) and feeling quite gutted I am not considered enough of a person to vote yet. Gutted. But I know who I will vote for; Conservitive! :)
And not because my parents do! I dont even know if they do. They wont tell me.
Anyway, in a exhausting effort to do some Biology with Gabe (yes, actual Biology) when ended up being a bit of a flop due to the lack of nutricious Jammy Dodgers, we decided to have a bit of a mature political debate i.e he voted Labour, so I hit him.
Anyway... he introduced me to the 'Monster Raving Looney Party'
Apparently its real! Anyway I quite like some of their policys:

Needles

Due to the increasing number of children afraid of needles, I propose the destruction of the tedious, scary and often painful process of school vaccinations.
Instead, I propose that highly trained nurses should be given free reign on the playground with specially modified tranquillizer rifles which apply vaccinations as well as a tranquillizer. This would have two main benefits: It would be less scary for the children as they will not know what hit them, also it will be more fun
for the nurses

GCSE Lottery

It is proposed that, before the beginning of exams, the exam board will select a certain obscure phrase which will be kept secret. If any pupil inadvertently writes this phrase in any exam,he/she will automaticaly receive straight A* grades, and a free teddy.

Political Colours

All politicians should paint them self's permantly head to toe in the colour of the party they represent - e.g. all Labour candidates in Red , all Conservatives in Blue ,etc,etc

Scary Terrorists

Ban all terrorists from having beards as they look scary.

Sweet Shares
Sell shares in Northen rock, buy shares in Blackpool rock!

Obeescity in Kids
If you want your kids to be less fat...feed em less (do we need to make a policy of this?....its common sense)

NHS Dentistry.
All newly trained Dentists will be require to have three teeth removed, 2 fillings and root canal work done without anesthetic. Then they will know the agony they inflict on the rest of us.

A Warm solution:
It is proposed that all pavements are heated so it is possible to walk bare foot in the winter, this would also serve another purpose by making the pavements warm no ice would form on them thereby reducing the risk of injury for everyone.

Skools Out

School will be dismissed if three or more pigeons make it into the central corridor.

Elections Make You Cross.
Why do we put a "cross" on the ballot paper. A cross normally means "thats wrong". We propose that a "tick" would be more suitable. Putting across next to someones name on the ballot paper is as good as writing "monumental cock up" next to their name.

Iraq.

Polcy on Iraq: Since Iraq needs to have a proper infrastructure before they can run their own country, I propose we send our traffic wardens out to Iraq to give tickets to American Jeeps and Tanks illegally parked thereby raising much needed revenue for the Iraq government (and giving us a much needed break!)

Prescott Day

Since we have Guy Fawkes day because Fawkes ATTEMPTED to destroy Parliament (Penny for the Guy, mate!) and we burn effigies of Fawkes, should we not have a John Prescott day for SUCCEEDING in destroying Parliament, well credibility at least (Penny for the John, mate!) and we could throw John on the bonfire.

Nessie
The Loch Ness Monster should be added to the endangered species list.

Good Morning

It should be illegal to wake up prior to 9.00 A.M. Offenders will made to work on a treadmill for 25 hours, and then woken up after 30 mins heavy sleep with a large alarm clock. Thrown at them. The exception to this rule will be Doctors who, will have to work longer hours due to the extra number of reported head injuries.

An Englishman's home is his Chateaux
It is proposed that everyone in England should buy one hundred square meters (or be subsidized to do so) of France. The English would then own France, saving a lot of arguments, and winning us another UN veto...After owning France, It is proposed that we should rent it back to the French. Then we should start on Germany.

Spectator Sport
Cricket will be made more interesting by elliminating the use of padding. (and possibly Cricket Bats)

Love it! :)